your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
