Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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