doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
