I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
