My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
