Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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