the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
