South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
