he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
