when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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