yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
