I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
