They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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