You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I will be naked everywhere
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
