last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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