Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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