last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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