Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
