so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
do herpes really smell.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Im just a social blackout drinker.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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