i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
