wanna go halves on a baby?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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