i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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