Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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