i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
