Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
