the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize