You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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