I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
