Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My bed smells like the plague
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
