the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you win again, gameday.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
