hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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