ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
