I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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