you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
