Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
