sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
