Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Operation Purity has been aborted
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
