Umm I'm too high to move.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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