I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
