awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
