You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize