Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
