Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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