He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize