If i come over, it means nothing
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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