i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
