My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
