I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
