Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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