Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
