At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
