oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
