he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
