the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize