Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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