Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
