How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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