how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
