You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
