Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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