apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
