my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
