I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
