If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
