He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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