Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
