i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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