Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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