WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
