I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
