nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
