That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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