Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just threw up on my dentist
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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