I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
