I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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