I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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