u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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