no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
