You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
