Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
